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Resentment

Ephesians 4:4-7 (Amplified Bible) [There is] one body and one Spirit--just as there is also one hope [that belongs] to the calling you received.[There is] one Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of [us] all, Who is above all [Sovereign over all], pervading all and [living] in [us] all. Yet grace (God's unmerited favor) was given to each of us individually [not indiscriminately, but in different ways] in proportion to the measure of Christ's [rich and bounteous] gift.

Resentment Dictionary Definition: the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.

Romans 2:5 The fact is that in the stubbornness of your impenitent heart you are treasuring up against yourself…

What is Resentment?

Resentment is formed when we are hurt or offended by another individual, in our minds we perceive the act as something so bad that we cannot forgive and we therefore hold a grudge against that person. It is most likely that the person who offended has forgotten about the offence and we are walking around with this weight on our shoulders when we resent.


Having resentment towards someone is like letting someone live rent-free in your house, they are squatting in there, occupying our personal space. It is our duty to deal with our own resentments.


60% OF ALL ADDICTS RELAPSE BECAUSE OF RESENTMENT!!!!!

Resentment is:

Unresolved anger

  • If the anger was resolved, it wouldn't be there!


An emotion.

  • Decisions made, based on emotions, are not always rational.


Self-destructive.

  • We are only hurting ourselves.


Feelings are internalized.

  • "Pressure cooker syndrome"


Selfish behavior.

  • It's all about me, me and me.


Negative spirituality.

  • Leads to pre occupation.


If resentment is allowed to grow, it will consume us.

What Causes Resentment?

  • Our pride and ego get hurt.
  • Expectations
  • When we expect certain things to be done and they are not done in the way we would like.
  • Anticipating with confidence.
  • Getting our hopes up.
  • Fear
  • A lack of trust
  • If we do not trust people we will not be able to share our problems, and therefore internalize our feelings.
  • Isolating
  • If we isolate we are left to our own thoughts, and our minds will run away with us.
  • A lack of gratitude
  • When we are lacking gratitude, we are generally in a negative frame of mind.
  • Negative outlook on life.
  • Pessimistic - look at the size of the hole in the doughnut, instead of the actual doughnut


Resentment is a choice - if we do not want to resent we must take responsibility for our thoughts and actions.

How to deal with resentments:

  • Effective communication.
  • Transparency
  • When we are hurt or offended, voice our feelings.
  • Always seek wise council (not only on resentment matters, but will all of life's many facets)
  • Remember you are not superman - you need help!
  • Boundaries - Make your no's no, and yes's yes.


The dictionary definition of a boundary - a line determining the limits of an area, inside the limits is YOUR area, that is YOUR personal space, no - one except yourself is allowed in there.

  • There will be no reason to isolate if we can express ourselves freely.


Romans 12:19 Do not be revengeful, my dear friends, but give way before anger; for it is written, "'Revenge belongs to Me: I will pay back,' says the Lord."

James 1:20 for the anger of man doesn't produce the righteousness of God.

James 3:16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition are, there is confusion and every evil deed.

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